The Art of Derailing a Thread.

[Citizen B]

You know who could really derail a conversation? The master:

[Citizen B]

Highjacking and derailing are two different things.

The other day, another distinguished gentleman who is not you and I got involved in a quick back and forth in what could have been a simple derailment, but it turned into a highjack. We both called it off and let the thread take its natural course to senescence and eventual natural death.

Never disrespect the intention of the original poster. Always try to stay, at least tangentially, on topic. No matter how off base you are, tie in to the thread's main theme so that you don't give up the jig too early. A good derailment takes time.

Never try to derail too early in the thread's evolution. You can't derail something that isn't yet on track---that's highjacking. Nobody likes a highjacker.

Wait for others to pick up on the breadcrumbs you are dropping. When two people are just riffing off each other at the thread's expense, the only people who enjoy reading that are the two people involved. Ruff and I learned that a long time ago. People click on a thread to see where it is going based not he subject matter. They don't click on a thread to see somebody showing off how clever they think they are.

Be careful what you wish for. Most attempts at derailment will result in zero interest. Patience is a virtue. If you try too hard you will fail harder than you expected, clever monkey. Sometimes, a successful derailment will make you look like a horse's ass from behind. You take you chances when you try to temporarily steer a thread off topic.

Temporary derailment is the touch of a maestro. Highjacking a thread is taking it over and killing it. Derailing a thread is creating a diversion, getting off track for a a few posts, maybe a page worth, but there is always ample opportunity to get back on track. On a truly derailed thread, vs. a highjacked one, the destination is the same as the OP intended. A highjacked thread goes in a totally different direction than what anyone expects or cares about except for the highjacker.

[Citizen B]

These words he speaks are true.

Cheese and seafood do not mix.

I think the best derailments/hijacks are those that are unintentional.

Example;

Someone starts a thread about smoking after dinner. A pic is added showing three people smoking pipes with plates still on the table.

Someone notices a plate with shrimp scampi and comments.

The OP confirms the dish is indeed shrimp scampi and adds that it was delicious.

Another comment is made opining that the table should have been cleared before lighting the pipes.

Someone else notices a can of Kraft Parmesan cheese on the table and trumpets that Kraft is an abomination and suggests that the OP's taste buds would be better served with fresh grated Parmesan.

Yet another poster insists that a proper Italian would never serve cheese with seafood. Someone else objects to this.

Then all of hell breaks loose. What follows is an 11 page blizzard of cheese, seafood, and Italians. Sides are drawn in the cheese vs no-cheese with seafood battle. Another discussion continues to chastise those who use Kraft. Half of the participants claim Italian heritage or at least growing up next to an Italian family. Four recipes for shrimp scampi are offered. Two posters claim to be allergic to shellfish. One of them posts a recipe for trout scampi. Suddenly, trout fishing is a hot topic. One poster, who doesn't put cheese on seafood and would never serve Kraft, insists that his oblong bobber, given to him by his grandfather who grew up in the Italian side of the Alps, is an essential tool for catching trout.

Eventually, the thread's momentum wanes. The Kraft users left in a huff. Italy was credited as a culinary treasure. Trout were praised. The OP agreed to clear the table before smoking in the future.

Six months later a noob posts on the thread and it all starts again...

[Mr Beardsley]

This thread needs more turtles

[Silver]

I like shrimp! And cheese!

[Mr Beardsley]

I like shrimp! And cheese!

Shrimp and cheese grits?

[MikeDennison]

I like shrimp! And cheese!

Shrimp and cheese grits?

I'd eat that, and I'd mix in a healthy dollop of Scotch Bonnet pepper sauce.

[Ruffinogold]

Goldie Hawn had a killer ass

[ncrobb]

“I’ve had shrimp and grits all over the world.”- a friend of mine’s crazy ex-wife.

[Piping Abe]

Everyone knows that corn cobs smoke better than any damn Dunhill ever created.