" Creative " writing class

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Ruffinogold
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Sun Jul 28, 2019 2:09 pm

Many years ago , in the beginnings of the old psf , we did a story telling thing . Of course , it always got far out way fast , but it was fun and full of stupidity

How it should work :

Soneone writes a paragraph and stops ... another takes on where the other left off etc ...

Now Lookie here .. it doesn't have to go into outter space with the cosmic navy rounding up cosmic communists for inhumane testing .. though it might . I'm just asking that we at least try to keep it semi realistic .... at least for a little while because keeping something normal around here ain't gonna last too long , so I get it

I'll start and whomever is interested , just jump in . If no one is interested , I'll just keep writing into pure ridiculousness


It's 2032 . Trump in on his 5th term , I think , and the cosmic navy has rounded up all the communists in the cosmos and used them for inhumane treatments to the bennifit of us sane folk ......

LOL , JUST FUNNIN

Ok , ok , ok .,. The real start following ...

It was a hot day in August in , of all places .. Texas . Kevin Keith , along with his clamato bud , a Kaywoodie full of double down and a Dutch Master Palma in his shirt pocket ( for a little later ) , looks out through the humid barren mere existence which is Texas , only to see Father Tom approaching , smoking a pipe as well .

Father Tom : I broke down around the corner . Some little bastid kids ran out in front of me and instead of running their ass over , i went to avoid them and blew a tire on the curb . Hellfire , they don't make Hummers like they used to

Kevin Keith : You want a clamato Padre ?

Father Tom : Why hell yes , I do , is the Pope Catholic !?

Kevin Keith : Not sure about this current one but yes he is

Kevin reaches into the ice filled cooler , moving in slow motion in the humidity , and hands Father Tom a refreshing bud clamato , The sun is glaring like you see it in a mirror at double strength .

Kevin Keith : You here that Whaleheadking feel off his scooter? He had it wide open !

Father Tom : Nah , that's news to me , Hope he's alright

Kevin Keith : He'll be alright . Something about swollen testicles .. I didn't ask

As if the heat and humidity wasn't enough , a loud horn was being blown repeatedly and getting louder and closer . Enter .. Briar Royale

Briar Royale : So , youz guyz got the sauce going yet or what !?! Fungule, it's hot !

............ to be continued by whomever
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Fr_Tom
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Sun Jul 28, 2019 5:13 pm

I am still absorbing all the issues here.

I need to know what @Bruyere_Royale is driving.

As long as I am in Texas anyway, I should drop by the hospital in Louisiana to pay a pastoral call on @Whalehead King .

I hope we get some more info here soon. In the meantime I have a corndog on deck, since it is that time of year.
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Bruyere_Royale
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Sun Jul 28, 2019 5:52 pm

I was driving a semi and it was hot, fungule hot!
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Crusty Cob
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Sun Jul 28, 2019 6:21 pm

So the father proceeds to update Bruyere about the happenings of the past hour, passes him a nonalchoholoic clamato and notices Bruyere isnt the only traveller in the truck today.

Bruyere suddenly gets real nervous and attempts to explain himself:

You see, eh, I was, um, deliverin' this here load of salsa from New York City to Texas by way of New Orleans to pick up a pup full of tobasco on the way. I had a vision, an epiphany if you will, about a fallen angel traveling in my direction when behold this Devine beauty suddenly appears in the median. I pulls over and let her climb aboard. Her long curly Red Hair and painfully beautiful face said without words that I couldn't afford her.

Then the angel spoke. "I done heard tell that that the King of New Orleans skipped town and I mean to bring him back and make him pay for the wrong he did to me and my sister."

It was then that the father knew that the peterbilt he had seen a few minutes ago with black smoke rolling from the stacks and white smoke rolling from the driver's window was delivering a load of trouble. In doubles.
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Whalehead King
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Sun Jul 28, 2019 6:32 pm

I remember when we did this last time. Naturally, I liked it. This kind of stuff is up my alley.
....

When Fr. Tom arrived at the hospital, he glanced towards the elevators where he saw there were lines of people waiting at to go up, everyone was carrying bouquets of flowers. He didn't bother to check in at the reception desk to learn Whalehead King's room. After a half hour's wait he got into an elevator and let someone else push the button. Everyone was headed to the same floor.

There was a line to get into Room 303 but Fr. Tom was patient. He made small talk with the other people in line. "Are you a fan of Whalehead King?" he asked. "You betcha I am," a leggy brunette who was carrying two dozen roses, replied. "I think he's the dreamiest. I sure hope he'll recover quickly," she added.

When Fr. Tom got to enter Room 303, who would be there but Whalehead King, of course, who was laid up in bed, but also Kevin Keith, who was keeping Mr. King company from a bedside chair. Mr. Keith was wearing a ten-gallon cowboy hat. "How did you you beat me here?" Fr. Tom asked.

Whalehead King kissed a pretty girl on the cheek after receiving another bouquet of flowers. He handed the flowers to Kevin Keith who added them to the bedside pile. "I know the head janitor," Kevin Keith told Fr. Tom.

An airhorn sounded out in the parking lot. The people in the room who weren't bedridden ran to the window. Nurse Ratchet said, "That's a big rig." Fr. Tom said, "That's Bruyere Royale with Ruffino Gold riding shotgun."

Nurse Ratchet said, "There goes the neighborhood."

Kevin Keith got everyone back in line to give flowers to Whalehead King. "No cutting in line," he said, "This runs on the honor system."

To be continued.....
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Ruffinogold
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Sun Jul 28, 2019 7:16 pm

:buddy:
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Fr_Tom
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Fr_Tom
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Sun Jul 28, 2019 7:48 pm

Crusty Cob wrote:
Sun Jul 28, 2019 6:21 pm
So the father proceeds to update Bruyere about the happenings of the past hour, passes him a nonalchoholoic clamato and notices Bruyere isnt the only traveller in the truck today.

Bruyere suddenly gets real nervous and attempts to explain himself:

You see, eh, I was, um, deliverin' this here load of salsa from New York City to Texas by way of New Orleans to pick up a pup full of tobasco on the way. I had a vision, an epiphany if you will, about a fallen angel traveling in my direction when behold this Devine beauty suddenly appears in the median. I pulls over and let her climb aboard. Her long curly Red Hair and painfully beautiful face said without words that I couldn't afford her.

Then the angel spoke. "I done heard tell that that the King of New Orleans skipped town and I mean to bring him back and make him pay for the wrong he did to me and my sister."
It is a Muriel Hauptmann sighting!
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Ruffinogold
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Sun Jul 28, 2019 8:55 pm

Fr_Tom wrote:
Sun Jul 28, 2019 7:48 pm
Crusty Cob wrote:
Sun Jul 28, 2019 6:21 pm
So the father proceeds to update Bruyere about the happenings of the past hour, passes him a nonalchoholoic clamato and notices Bruyere isnt the only traveller in the truck today.

Bruyere suddenly gets real nervous and attempts to explain himself:

You see, eh, I was, um, deliverin' this here load of salsa from New York City to Texas by way of New Orleans to pick up a pup full of tobasco on the way. I had a vision, an epiphany if you will, about a fallen angel traveling in my direction when behold this Devine beauty suddenly appears in the median. I pulls over and let her climb aboard. Her long curly Red Hair and painfully beautiful face said without words that I couldn't afford her.

Then the angel spoke. "I done heard tell that that the King of New Orleans skipped town and I mean to bring him back and make him pay for the wrong he did to me and my sister."
It is a Muriel Hauptmann sighting!
Lol ... I was thinking more .....Image

But you're more on point
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Ruffinogold
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Sun Jul 28, 2019 9:25 pm

Bruyere Royale and Ruffino would be up shortly . They just snagged some pork roll with egg on a hard roll and somne coffee for themselves and the girls with a gripe toward the king of nola .. whalehead could wait , plus they knew theryd be waiting in line to see whalehead anyway , so no rush .

Ruffino :
Ah Fungule , this is some killer pork roll !!!

Bruyere Royale :
Damn it , I'm almost done with mine already

Ruffino : Mio Dio , sei un maiale !

Bruyere Royale:
Ah Fungule, si si si

Hey , you two sisters finish your pork Roll ?

Nancy and Anne ( In Unison ) .... not yet , this stuff is great !! Whalehead king will have to hear our gripe when we're done . They dont haved this stuff in nola or texas

Ruffino :
It's a Jersey thing , sweetheart . Hey , Bruyere, you wanna pop a bottle of Applejack before we head up there

Bruyere Royale:
****in A , let's do it . Hey ladies , here's some Jersey nector of the Gods liquid

Meanwhile , whalehead king was hiding the fact he was in some pain but he was pulling it off like a champ . So many chicks showering him with affection , as usual . Though there was much activity to keep him busy , his mind wondered off to the last tobacco war. Thankfully we won , thanks to Avid , Crusty Cob , rekamepip , Sidstavros , colorduke simplepipes , old bill and his flame thrower ... and many others
Those were impossible days but glorious . Things are better now in many ways , I mean , I'm the king of nola now . Kevin is the king of Texas for Pete's sake . Things are great and peaceful now , whalehead lamented , as he longed for the days of war, which he felt was so unlike himself ..... but he did
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Whalehead King
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Mon Jul 29, 2019 7:53 pm

Muriel Hauptmann walked into the hospital room. The room fell silent. A strong woman who is a good friend deserves respect. It's obvious, even to people who haven't yet met her. Muriel Hauptmann walked into the room and shook her hair free. It looked like a red comet's tail.

"Mr. Pipster sent me," she said.

You could hear a pin drop.

Whalehead King scootched up in his bed as best as he was able and offered a hand salute. Kevin Keith straightened his bolo tie and stepped up to offer his hand in solidarity. Ruffino Gold wiped the pork roll juice off his lips before he kneeled in front of her to kiss Muriel Hauptmann's hand. Bruyere Royale shuffled his feet, looked down those very same feet, and he said in Italian, because for some reason he and Ruff speak Italian in this story, "Mi dispiaci, signora."

The whole room smelled like freshly cut flowers. Muriel Hauptmann was here!

Kevin Keith got all misty-eyed. "That Mr. Pipster," he said while wiping a tear off his cheek,. "God bless Pip." Everyone realized that the pieces of some kind of cosmic pipe smoking puzzle were falling into place. There was no real reason but, for whatever reason, everyone got all choked up. Destiny was calling and when Destiny calls, you gotta answer.
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