The PSF Boasting Thread

User avatar
Whalehead King
Raconteur Extraordinaire
Posts: 731
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2018 6:20 am

Tue Oct 09, 2018 4:57 pm

Pride is a sin of course. I am grateful for what I've been given in this life so far, not proud of what I've got. I'm not one to boast. That said, I thought it would be interesting to see how we could top each other in pipe-smoking boasts. You know, trash talk, one-up-manship, strutting. I'm sure we've got a few wrestler types here.

I'm not good at this or at any variation of locker room banter. When I go to my gym's locker room I go to the sauna to read a book and then I talk to the lawyers and business people and real estate developers who have lockers around mine about what's going on in the city. My locker is at the more chi-chi end of the room. I keep mum most of the time. :oops: To tell you the truth, the best part of my trip to the gym, besides a swim some intense calisthenics, is reading my book in the sauna.

I was at happy hour at my local bar today and it was full of contractors and, well, who cares what they all do for a living. Let me just say the testosterone was running high as they all one-upped and glad-handed each other.

What can you boast about your pipe smoking prowess? Tell us a tall tale (based on the facts of course). Keep it PG-13. Neither I nor anyone else wants to learn what you do with your pipe where the sun doesn't shine.

With these baseline background and ground rules to launch this new thread, I'll start. I'm not boasting about my prowess, I'm only WK. I'm jest tellin' it like it is:

I live like I smoke, with a ferocious desire for freedom and that no other pipe smoker can match. Even today's James Bond, Daniel Craig, can't match me for cool. He can only aspire to exude the attitude I do when I puff on my cob. I'll beat Craig, the same as I'd beat Bond, in any pipe smoking match.

Fast cars, fast planes, fast boats, fast rockets, fast women, fast in-and-out. My life is fast like a car chase. That's how I like my pipes. When I pack a bowl, I don't go for the slow race. I move quick to the golden ticket and claim my prize. The only time I get tongue bite is when I bite my tongue to keep from telling some other fellow he doesn't have what it takes. I don't like to belittle a little guy, though. From New Orleans with love. That's how I live.
This post by Whalehead King liked by (total 7):
Kevin KeithBruyere_RoyaleFr_TomavidPreacher1611simplepipesEllis You
----Just some joker in New Orleans who happens to have time on his hands while running a tiny hotel.
User avatar
arturo7
Active Member
Posts: 136
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2018 10:37 pm
Location: way out west

Tue Oct 09, 2018 5:54 pm

My Zippo lighter technique is amazing.

If Hollywood ever finds out, I'll be hired as a consultant: Zippo training for the stars!
This post by arturo7 liked by (total 7):
Whalehead KingBruyere_RoyaleFr_TomavidKevin KeithsimplepipesEllis You
ever forward
User avatar
Bruyere_Royale
Founding Member
Posts: 582
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:27 pm

Tue Oct 09, 2018 7:18 pm

My rope and plug preparation is unmatched by none other... my knife skills are as graceful as a hawk in flight and as precise as a neurosurgeon.
This post by Bruyere_Royale liked by (total 5):
Fr_TomavidKevin KeithsimplepipesEllis You
User avatar
Mr Beardsley
Founding Member
Posts: 999
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2018 12:16 am

Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:01 pm

I can scorch a rim like Ray Charles with a welding torch
This post by Mr Beardsley liked by (total 7):
Whalehead KingBruyere_RoyaleavidKevin KeithPreacher1611simplepipesEllis You
May contain lead paint
User avatar
Whalehead King
Raconteur Extraordinaire
Posts: 731
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2018 6:20 am

Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:08 pm

Mr Beardsley wrote:
Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:01 pm
I can scorch a rim like Ray Charles with a welding torch
Now that's a boast. I can do that, too. Prolly not as good as you do, though!
This post by Whalehead King liked by (total 4):
Mr BeardsleyFr_TomavidKevin Keith
----Just some joker in New Orleans who happens to have time on his hands while running a tiny hotel.
User avatar
Fr_Tom
Chaplain
Posts: 3830
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2018 2:44 pm
Location: Diocese of Northern Indiana

Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:16 pm

I can cultivate rimcake like a pro.
This post by Fr_Tom liked by (total 6):
Bruyere_RoyaleMr BeardsleyavidKevin KeithsimplepipesEllis You
"Prov'dence don't fire no blank ca'tridges, boys" Roughing It, Mark Twain

Old Ted Award - 2017
User avatar
Bruyere_Royale
Founding Member
Posts: 582
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:27 pm

Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:16 pm

Mr Beardsley wrote:
Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:01 pm
I can scorch a rim like Ray Charles with a welding torch
Lol...
This post by Bruyere_Royale liked by (total 3):
Mr BeardsleyKevin Keithsimplepipes
User avatar
avid
Active Member
Posts: 479
Joined: Mon May 07, 2018 1:01 pm

Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:40 pm

i can stoke a briar full of aro hot enough to put a blister on your finger

great thread
This post by avid liked by (total 5):
Mr BeardsleyhoutenzielKevin KeithsimplepipesEllis You
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
insufferable filter guy
User avatar
Fr_Tom
Chaplain
Posts: 3830
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2018 2:44 pm
Location: Diocese of Northern Indiana

Wed Oct 10, 2018 7:27 am

Fr_Tom wrote:
Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:16 pm
I can cultivate rimcake like a pro.
Just in case anyone wants to see some of my work in progress...

These are the Silver Duke and Belvedere pots I have smoked in the past day that just happened to be out. The Belvedere suffered a setback recently when I was smacking out ashes on the heel of my shoe, and I had a flake come off.

Image
This post by Fr_Tom liked by (total 6):
Kevin KeithavidMr BeardsleyPreacher1611simplepipesEllis You
"Prov'dence don't fire no blank ca'tridges, boys" Roughing It, Mark Twain

Old Ted Award - 2017
User avatar
Preacher1611
Active Member
Posts: 300
Joined: Tue May 08, 2018 11:32 am
Location: Van Schaick Island, NY

Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:18 am

I make the greatest pipe stands you have ever seen. None compare, if ever word got out about how amazing they are pipe smokers all over the world would be bashing down my door to get one.
This post by Preacher1611 liked by (total 3):
avidsimplepipesEllis You
Post Reply