I'm not good at this or at any variation of locker room banter. When I go to my gym's locker room I go to the sauna to read a book and then I talk to the lawyers and business people and real estate developers who have lockers around mine about what's going on in the city. My locker is at the more chi-chi end of the room. I keep mum most of the time.
To tell you the truth, the best part of my trip to the gym, besides a swim some intense calisthenics, is reading my book in the sauna.I was at happy hour at my local bar today and it was full of contractors and, well, who cares what they all do for a living. Let me just say the testosterone was running high as they all one-upped and glad-handed each other.
What can you boast about your pipe smoking prowess? Tell us a tall tale (based on the facts of course). Keep it PG-13. Neither I nor anyone else wants to learn what you do with your pipe where the sun doesn't shine.
With these baseline background and ground rules to launch this new thread, I'll start. I'm not boasting about my prowess, I'm only WK. I'm jest tellin' it like it is:
I live like I smoke, with a ferocious desire for freedom and that no other pipe smoker can match. Even today's James Bond, Daniel Craig, can't match me for cool. He can only aspire to exude the attitude I do when I puff on my cob. I'll beat Craig, the same as I'd beat Bond, in any pipe smoking match.
Fast cars, fast planes, fast boats, fast rockets, fast women, fast in-and-out. My life is fast like a car chase. That's how I like my pipes. When I pack a bowl, I don't go for the slow race. I move quick to the golden ticket and claim my prize. The only time I get tongue bite is when I bite my tongue to keep from telling some other fellow he doesn't have what it takes. I don't like to belittle a little guy, though. From New Orleans with love. That's how I live.
