As an RN, I saw some patients linger for decades in deplorable condition, and as a Christian, I learned to be cautious with prayer requests because sometimes, when granted, I've realized I prayed for the wrong thing - but asking for God's mercy, and letting His wisdom decide what that entails seems right to me.
I have sat in meetings with doctors delivering bad news for me many times in this life, and I can pass on something I think most can appreciate and understand. It is much, much worse when the news is about your own young children, than when it is about you. When you've had that cross to carry more than once, it is easy to take bad news about your own health with equanimity.
I am more concerned about Christine than about myself. We've been together for twenty years - the happiest years we each have known - and she is a natural-born worrier. I have learned to follow wise advice - eg, don't borrow tomorrow's trouble, each day has enough of its own. Life comes moment by moment, and none of us have crystal balls (not reliable ones anyway
) and that's the only way we can really live it.The first doctor to tell me I'd be dead in two years (ten years ago) looked at me as if to say Why is this man still smiling? and finally remarked that I seemed to take the news rather well. I simply told him that I'd learned to be content under almost any circumstances. It was unclear whether he recognized the allusion.
As another imperfect man walking this earth (with a wobbly gait
) I yet retain my faith. I don't see my illness as punishment, nor do I get angry with my Maker about it, and this allows me to skip several steps in what medicine calls the grieving process. Nor do I try bargaining with God, knowing that I have nothing He needs - the needs are my own, and mercy will more than suffice.That is my perspective, in a nutshell. It frees me to remain happy and to continue to find humor in everything, as I have always done. I know it differs from many other worldviews, but I rather suspect that some of you can relate to it, at least in part. It has served - and continues to serve - me well during life's little challenges, and even more-so with the bigger ones.
Sorry if I became too preachy; I wasn't attempting to proselytize. Just explaining my mindset. Again, thank you all for the kind words.
- Try Cob, aka musichal, aka R. Hal Watson, ie, Hal
...Norman, OK
