Whatcha Doin'?

[Fr_Tom]

Thanks guys. We’ve been dealing with this for some time but things just recently got worse. Just venting a little. Even though I’m not surprised I was still shocked by today. On a second bowl already, I may just sit here and smoke all day.

Any progress here? I am curious to know if you have been in communication with the hospital chaplain. He/she might be able to help you navigate this with the hospital staff.

[Dr Uhaha]

Helping a guy finish his retirement paperwork. He's been retired on the job for years - just moving the act to his house. Good for him.

[Whalehead King]

[9 Iron]

Thanks guys. We’ve been dealing with this for some time but things just recently got worse. Just venting a little. Even though I’m not surprised I was still shocked by today. On a second bowl already, I may just sit here and smoke all day.

Any progress here? I am curious to know if you have been in communication with the hospital chaplain. He/she might be able to help you navigate this with the hospital staff.

Thanks for asking. The hospital is a catholic hospital. Mom left an advanced directive outlining her wishes (basically a DNR if things get bad) and the staff is making her as comfortable as possible. They are great, the nurses much more so than the doctors. Doctors seem to like to keep it clinical and vague. The outcome doesn’t look too rosy, hospice is likely the next step, soon. I specifically asked mom if she wanted the chaplain to come in and she said no, she says she’s already made her peace with God and knows what’s going on. She is drifting in and out of being mentally present, but when she’s with us she is quite lucid (medication is helping with that)). If you’d like to say a prayer for her it would be very much appreciated. I pray for God to extend his grace and forgiveness to her, and to us all.

[Whalehead King]

Thanks guys. We’ve been dealing with this for some time but things just recently got worse. Just venting a little. Even though I’m not surprised I was still shocked by today. On a second bowl already, I may just sit here and smoke all day.

Any progress here? I am curious to know if you have been in communication with the hospital chaplain. He/she might be able to help you navigate this with the hospital staff.

Thanks for asking. The hospital is a catholic hospital. Mom left an advanced directive outlining her wishes (basically a DNR if things get bad) and the staff is making her as comfortable as possible. They are great, the nurses much more so than the doctors. Doctors seem to like to keep it clinical and vague. The outcome doesn’t look too rosy, hospice is likely the next step, soon. I specifically asked mom if she wanted the chaplain to come in and she said no, she says she’s already made her peace with God and knows what’s going on. She is drifting in and out of being mentally present, but when she’s with us she is quite lucid (medication is helping with that)). If you’d like to say a prayer for her it would be very much appreciated. I pray for God to extend his grace and forgiveness to her, and to us all.

God bless her. I will dedicate my rosary to her for the next week.

[Fr_Tom]

Thanks for asking. The hospital is a catholic hospital. Mom left an advanced directive outlining her wishes (basically a DNR if things get bad) and the staff is making her as comfortable as possible. They are great, the nurses much more so than the doctors. Doctors seem to like to keep it clinical and vague. The outcome doesn’t look too rosy, hospice is likely the next step, soon. I specifically asked mom if she wanted the chaplain to come in and she said no, she says she’s already made her peace with God and knows what’s going on. She is drifting in and out of being mentally present, but when she’s with us she is quite lucid (medication is helping with that)). If you’d like to say a prayer for her it would be very much appreciated. I pray for God to extend his grace and forgiveness to her, and to us all.

I have had a lot of experience with hospice as an Episcopal priest. My father was in hospice at the end too. I have tremendous respect for the work they do. My experience with nurses is that they are the human interface in the whole process. The doctors are always clinical. Ask the doctor if it is time to call the family, and you never get an answer that you can interpret as a yes/no/probably. Ask the nurse, and you almost always get something like, "Are they local? You probably have 6-12 hours."

Hospice seems to have an awareness of patient needs, and that is the missing bit in the hospital I find. Everyone is in a different place really. Some people want to be lucid and have business they need to finish. Others have had all the conversations they need to have and do not want to suffer any more than necessary. It really depends a lot on the person lying there. I always ask if there are regrets or if there is anything they want.

Until they get to hospice, the wants are all like a glass of water or lights turned off. Once they get in the hospice system, the wants are more along the lines of "I want my grandchildren to sing 'I'll Fly Away' with me." The regrets thing almost always has the same answer: "I don't regret much I have done. I have a lot of regrets about opportunities I missed." This is often a great conversation for them as they try to tie up loose ends. Chaplains have a role, but not everyone needs that layer. Many people need their own pastor, but some are more comfortable with the hospital/hospice chaplain who may have more experience and/or a gift for this ministry. I have been very impressed with the people called to this type of work.

I have been praying for her and the family. If you are comfortable doing it, PM me your mom's first name.

[9 Iron]

Thank you gentlemen. Her name is Nancy and I’m sure she’d appreciate your prayers Fr Tom, and the dedication of your rosary WK. very kind of you both. The sisters of Mercy in the hospital are wonderful, without them I’m not sure how we’d be dealing with this. The immediate family, my brother and I and our wives, are coping pretty well. This thing has been progressing forward for a few months now, and if you eliminate the doctors’ “Our hope and most favorable prognosis” statements, you’re given a blueprint of what’s about to unfold, and it has. We are at peace with it.

[Middle Earth]

Praying for Nancy, you, and all concerned
So sorry to hear this

[AndreRitter]

I'm not a religious man but my heart goes out to you 9 and you & your family are in my thoughts.

[AndreRitter]

Great video and I love that drawl of yours.

Might be the basis for an interesting thread.