What did you say!?!?

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Riff89
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We’ve all done it c’mon guys admit it, you meant to say one thing and it came out all wrong. You mispronounced a word and sounded like a dumbass. Laughing at yourself is good I have to laugh at myself because my wife is generally not amused by me. I will start this thread with some of memorable gaffes I’ve made or witnessed over the years.

Ordering sandwich at Quiznos with my wife “I’ll have the Italian grinder on the Artesian bread (artisan).

Ordering at a fancy restaurant for the first time “what do you recommend for Whores devores” (hors D’Oeuvres)

My buddy ordering seafood “I’ll take the Admeerials platter please” (Admirals)
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Middle Earth
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As long as it is understood
It works for me
I have a hard time with enunciation/articulation with niche stuff
For example, I thought sabot was more like it looks like, but no, it's sa-bow or there-abouts
And the niche peoples are just waiting for me to butcher their niche word
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Wildcat
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My sister-in-law pronounces Academy Street thus, "Ack- uh-dem-mee" street.
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9 Iron
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I purposely mispronounce words in public, in as silly a way as possible, when I have my granddaughters with me, just to make em squirm (Po, you’re embarrassing me!!)
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Dr Uhaha
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Memorable incidents include:

The first time I tried to pronounce Jojoba Oil (don't ask): snotty vegan lady I was talking to transferred about 20-years of relationship issues onto me in an instant. 🤣

And 'macchiato' which I pronounced as in Ralph Macchio. 🤣
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Lostdog5152
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My most memorable gaff of many in my life. We had to make a short speech as part of an Engish class that included public speaking while I was in high school. Unfortunately for me, mine was in an auditorium full of rowdy and unsympathetic teenagers waiting for a school play to start. Our team had recently won the city championship in football. My opening statement in my carefully prepared speech over a very loud microphone was "Now that we have won the shitty championship....". Even the teachers were laughing. I still bear the scars.
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Citizen B
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Mispronouncing words because one has never heard them said aloud by anyone else is the sign of a person who is well read.
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---They'll paint daisies on my coffin.
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Wildcat
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9 Iron wrote: Sat Feb 27, 2021 11:42 am I purposely mispronounce words in public, in as silly a way as possible, when I have my granddaughters with me, just to make em squirm (Po, you’re embarrassing me!!)
When my daughter reached the age where she needed feminine products, I'd ask a sales person or three, "What aisle are the tampoons in?"

A favorite of mine to butcher on purpose:

Six of one, half dozen of the other becomes, "Half of one, six dozen of the other."
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I wonder if "blame Wildcat" will become a theme here? - Fr_Tom
May you always have the kind of sorrows that will be drowned in a glass of water.... Water and a machine made cigar. - Citizen B
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Middle Earth
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Epitome
When I was a teenager
I said e-pih-tome
Then I heard e-pi-tomee
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Ruffinogold
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I think i could write a longer list of what I get right than wrong . I have never spoken well . I went to a speech therapist in grammar school . I sure had my own way of saying things but they eventually broke me of it and Ive never been the same since
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Middle Earth
" Ya don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows " 13th apostle
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