Smok pip shuttin deer
Smok pip kuttin wud
Smok pip er n der
Smok pip erra war
Smukin baka widda pip
De kojer scup in flikn bic
Smukin baka en dewin dip.
Da snuf in nos mek snez
So be penchhn n de lep.
Bad Pipe Poetry
-
- Member in Good Standing
- Posts: 569
- Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2018 8:13 am
- Location: Kentucky
Down by the briar wood tree;
She showed her bowl to me;
It was smooth and black;
It didn't show crack;
So I loaded some sweet cavendish.
She showed her bowl to me;
It was smooth and black;
It didn't show crack;
So I loaded some sweet cavendish.
Longshanks
"He who shall, so shall he... wait, who?"
"He who shall, so shall he... wait, who?"
I know just the coffee shop where this poem should be read:Longshanks wrote: ↑Mon Nov 26, 2018 2:10 pm Down by the briar wood tree;
She showed her bowl to me;
It was smooth and black;
It didn't show crack;
So I loaded some sweet cavendish.
I was enjoying my pipe in a crowd
Huffing and puffing and making a cloud
A man said, “You’re rude!”
I replied, “Get over it dude!”
Then I realized I wasn’t wearing pants.
What a crazy dream…
Huffing and puffing and making a cloud
A man said, “You’re rude!”
I replied, “Get over it dude!”
Then I realized I wasn’t wearing pants.
What a crazy dream…
ever forward
- MikeDennison
- Certified Codger
- Posts: 7658
- Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2018 7:18 pm
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
"I realized I had the gift of seeming to know more than I actually did." -A.J. Cronin-
- Preacher1611
- Member in Good Standing
- Posts: 629
- Joined: Tue May 08, 2018 11:32 am
- Location: Van Schaick Island, NY
Poetry is cool.
Pipes are also cool.
There is nothing better than....
Smoking a good pipe.
Y'all thought I was gonna say refrigerator, din't ya?
Pipes are also cool.
There is nothing better than....
Smoking a good pipe.
Y'all thought I was gonna say refrigerator, din't ya?
- Houtenziel
- Codger in Training
- Posts: 3773
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:58 pm
Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a Mouse,
Houtenziel awoke,
From his restless slumber,
And rolled out of bed,
Like a fresh slab of lumber,
He stumbled over to his pipes,
And one he Selected,
He found some tobacco,
To his pipe he directed,
A match he did light,
and was put to the leaf,
And with many a puff,
He did not find relief,
When a crash and a bash from the Chimney he heard,
A swirling campfire smoke,
the fire's ashes were stirred,
And there in the room,
A large man did appear,
And Houtenziel's heart,
Was filled with great fear,
The big jolly man said,
"Chill out brother Ziel,
For by now you have discovered,
Jolly old Santa is real."
With a twinkle in his eye,
He queried his host,
"What thing does brother Houtenziel want most?
Is it women, or whiskey, or really fast cars?
Motorcyles, or wealth, or your own Irish bar?"
With great seriousness,
H-Man did consider,
Puffing his pipe,
with his face looking bitter,
He looked up at Santa,
With his eyes oh so bright,
"Santa, I need tobacco that won't bite,
No bitterness, or gurgle, or drying required,
And the fullest of flavor is what I desire,"
With a great long laugh,
"HO HO HO!"
Into the great bag,
For a gift he did go,
And when he turned round,
A pipe had he lit,
And the sweetest of smoke curled,
From the Vulcanite bit.
"Little Ziel I present you With the finest of things,
But tobacco it's not,
For it's not why your tongue stings."
And over to H,
Santa did smile and hand,
A shiny new pipe kit,
the best of all in the land,
And adorned on the bit,
A spade did it show,
And Santa did wink,
"H, you're now in the know."
Santa and H, did sit together and puff,
Merry Christmas you rubes,
For that much rhyming's enough.
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a Mouse,
Houtenziel awoke,
From his restless slumber,
And rolled out of bed,
Like a fresh slab of lumber,
He stumbled over to his pipes,
And one he Selected,
He found some tobacco,
To his pipe he directed,
A match he did light,
and was put to the leaf,
And with many a puff,
He did not find relief,
When a crash and a bash from the Chimney he heard,
A swirling campfire smoke,
the fire's ashes were stirred,
And there in the room,
A large man did appear,
And Houtenziel's heart,
Was filled with great fear,
The big jolly man said,
"Chill out brother Ziel,
For by now you have discovered,
Jolly old Santa is real."
With a twinkle in his eye,
He queried his host,
"What thing does brother Houtenziel want most?
Is it women, or whiskey, or really fast cars?
Motorcyles, or wealth, or your own Irish bar?"
With great seriousness,
H-Man did consider,
Puffing his pipe,
with his face looking bitter,
He looked up at Santa,
With his eyes oh so bright,
"Santa, I need tobacco that won't bite,
No bitterness, or gurgle, or drying required,
And the fullest of flavor is what I desire,"
With a great long laugh,
"HO HO HO!"
Into the great bag,
For a gift he did go,
And when he turned round,
A pipe had he lit,
And the sweetest of smoke curled,
From the Vulcanite bit.
"Little Ziel I present you With the finest of things,
But tobacco it's not,
For it's not why your tongue stings."
And over to H,
Santa did smile and hand,
A shiny new pipe kit,
the best of all in the land,
And adorned on the bit,
A spade did it show,
And Santa did wink,
"H, you're now in the know."
Santa and H, did sit together and puff,
Merry Christmas you rubes,
For that much rhyming's enough.
“To educate a person in the mind but not in morals is to educate a menace to society.”
― Theodore Roosevelt
― Theodore Roosevelt
- MikeDennison
- Certified Codger
- Posts: 7658
- Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2018 7:18 pm
Respect.houtenziel wrote: ↑Mon Dec 24, 2018 3:20 pm Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a Mouse,
Houtenziel awoke,
From his restless slumber,
And rolled out of bed,
Like a fresh slab of lumber,
He stumbled over to his pipes,
And one he Selected,
He found some tobacco,
To his pipe he directed,
A match he did light,
and was put to the leaf,
And with many a puff,
He did not find relief,
When a crash and a bash from the Chimney he heard,
A swirling campfire smoke,
the fire's ashes were stirred,
And there in the room,
A large man did appear,
And Houtenziel's heart,
Was filled with great fear,
The big jolly man said,
"Chill out brother Ziel,
For by now you have discovered,
Jolly old Santa is real."
With a twinkle in his eye,
He queried his host,
"What thing does brother Houtenziel want most?
Is it women, or whiskey, or really fast cars?
Motorcyles, or wealth, or your own Irish bar?"
With great seriousness,
H-Man did consider,
Puffing his pipe,
with his face looking bitter,
He looked up at Santa,
With his eyes oh so bright,
"Santa, I need tobacco that won't bite,
No bitterness, or gurgle, or drying required,
And the fullest of flavor is what I desire,"
With a great long laugh,
"HO HO HO!"
Into the great bag,
For a gift he did go,
And when he turned round,
A pipe had he lit,
And the sweetest of smoke curled,
From the Vulcanite bit.
"Little Ziel I present you With the finest of things,
But tobacco it's not,
For it's not why your tongue stings."
And over to H,
Santa did smile and hand,
A shiny new pipe kit,
the best of all in the land,
And adorned on the bit,
A spade did it show,
And Santa did wink,
"H, you're now in the know."
Santa and H, did sit together and puff,
Merry Christmas you rubes,
For that much rhyming's enough.
"I realized I had the gift of seeming to know more than I actually did." -A.J. Cronin-