My wife said:

[rlucas]

Before I go into this, understand that I recently have had to work shift 2300-0730. I used to work second shift 1515-2345 and worked second for over a year.
So last night I'm trying to get ready for work and my wife is always right behind me basically getting in my way. So I make some smartass comment about her in the way and this is short conversation:
Her: I can't wait for you to go back to 2nd shift so the pool boy can start coming over again.
Now imagine it takes a second to register in my head what she said.
Me: Why, we don't have a pool

[Dr Uhaha]

Before I go into this, understand that I recently have had to work shift 2300-0730. I used to work second shift 1515-2345 and worked second for over a year.
So last night I'm trying to get ready for work and my wife is always right behind me basically getting in my way. So I make some smartass comment about her in the way and this is short conversation:
Her: I can't wait for you to go back to 2nd shift so the pool boy can start coming over again.
Now imagine it takes a second to register in my head what she said.
Me: Why, we don't have a pool

Yeah, that's what you want to hear as you leave for the coal mine. Horrible.

[Ruffinogold]

If my wife ever says anything like that , I follow it up with ... so long as he leaves a check